The Positive Side of Oppression

Last nights documentary was really entertaining- it's nice to see a more positive side of oppression once in a while.

I love the film industry and especially the classics, I never realized how candid films of the 20's & 30's were.  And though censorship later sought to dull and smother material deemed offensive and unwholesome, it's fascinating how the movie industry worked around those obstacles.
In a lot of ways these subtle messages enriched the films.  As one commentator said, "it was a movie within a movie.... and in a lot of ways gave minorities hope."  I found that so inspiring, and so thrilling; how so many could create movies with a sociably acceptable guise while carrying strong undertones of sexuality, race and otherwise.

The Things You Own End Up Owning You

When I think of social class I think of "The Howls' vs The Bundy's"-- two very defined lifestyles articulated beyond money alone and by an entire state of mind.

It's this state of mind that really reflects a persons class I think.  For there are many people who lack finances but remain dignified while there are others who are loaded but not at all refined.

However in our society, where the majority are deemed "Middle-Class," consumerism is the defining factor of class.  It's not just about how much you have in your bank account, it's how much you own.  The number of things you own defines ones wealth more than any other factor- and that seems to be what we're constantly working for.

The American goal is to be wealthy enough to have anything we want, and when we want.  Our obsession with this is insatiable.  In fact, the only thing we love more than money is watching it get spent! We are addicted to watching the rich spend their money and live these lavish albeit ridiculous lives.  I've said it before, my 'hate that I love it' guilty pleasure is Keeping Up With the Kardashians (bows head in shame)---and why!? I have no idea, it's not that they flaunt price tags so much, but they do live in (what seems to be) an easy world of vanity and materials, and I hate how entertaining I find it.

Shows like ''My Super Sweet 16'',  ''Real Desperate Housewives of [Wherever the Hell]" or any wedding show on TLC only further to feed that idea that our self worth comes from our tangible valuables. In essence, the days of having class and being of high-class no longer go hand in hand, but has instead been replaced with the idea that what we own defines us in the hierarchy of class; a self-given air of entitlement- whether earned, deserved or otherwise.

Play Like A Girl

I found the video “Not Just a Game” very insightful. Not being a major sports follower I don’t know about a lot of the messages that are conveyed through the vein of sports, but it does make sense. Now I do come from the typical “Football is life”-type town so I am aware of the kind of molding that can have on one’s life. Where boys are validated by football, or at least by participating in sports in general. In this video it was pointed out how to ‘play like a girl’ was one of the worst insults a man could hear, and the question that arose was what does this say about women? Is this demeaning to our weaknesses?? So I asked a few men what that statement meant to them; one response was it’s not that it’s intended to be hurtful to women, but rather hurtful to men because they are in fact not women. He cited there are differences between the two and that is what this is supposed to represent. And that is true, many sports have been modified for women simply because of the physical differences, it’s not meant to be unfair, just fact. I can understand this thinking because much like a man does not want to be termed ‘a girl’ I would be insulted if I were ‘like a boy/man.’ Especially in terms of physicality; I don’t want to be told I look like a man or sound like a man… that would be insulting to me, even though I very much like the way men can look and sound, I just don’t want to mimic it. But even so- when I hear the words ‘you play like a girl,’ it doesn’t have a positive connotation to it. As a majority most girls probably aren’t all that athletic or prone to sports, and might even be uncoordinated or lacking an athletic ability that men tend to have more naturally (I know I do!) but the ones that are involved in sports can be exceptionally fierce. They are strong, driven, coordinated and certainly not the image conveyed by such a statement. Again most of the men I talked to about this did say they didn’t view this statement as being particularly insulting to women, but insulting to men simply because the typical woman is not as naturally athletic as men. I don’t like it, but it makes sense.

The Guy Code

I found last weeks class....disturbing, to say the least.  Watching "The Bro Code" documentary was definitely an eye-opener, if not more.  I can't say how valid it is for the men I know in my life, but it did raise some very interesting points about what society is pushing for the men of today to become.

Without re-hashing the entire video I will say I see a lot of unfortunate truths that were pointed out in the video.  It does seem we are feeding a very narrow image of what a man should be, like, and expect out of life.  The whole 'sex, beer, and violence' isn't a new ideal for men but it does seem to be elevating to new heights with the progression of media and advertising. 

It's unfortunate because it's everyone who suffers from this ideal.  Out of pride men are encouraged to act a certain way, think a certain way, believe a certain way, and I just think that ideal is so narrow it closes them off to some of the great things offered in life.  If a man is encouraged to never share his feelings, then how can he come to know the strong bond that can come in a relationship.  How can he know that building his wife up and supporting her, instead of tearing her down with the predictable misogynistic comments, can lead to a more unified, happier, stronger marriage.  And as women, we are so desperate for these walls to be taken down yet we have come to expect them. And in some cases, re-enforce them.  Because we too fall victim to the expectations.  I think we are by nature more nurturing and family-oriented and this gets exploited into believing if we do not meet all the needs of our spouse or family we are somehow failures.  Or if we are not sexual and submissive then again, we are somehow less desirable women. 
In either case standards are being set for us by a media that cares nothing about us beyond our wallets and it's not until we are made aware of it and the flaws of this thinking than we can change these idiotic ideals.

Bully Bully

Bullying is something that has gotten a lot of attention lately. I understand that with the expansion of social media so also continues the expansion of aggression.  In this case, bullying.  I don't know how much bullying in school has changed but I have been led to believe the majority of the bullying that is getting attention these days in cyber.  I spoke with a high school teacher who once told me how most of the attacks she sees' come through places like Facebook, Twitter, etc... and a majority of bullies are girls harassing other girls.  Now frankly, I'm too far detached to understand what it's like to be in high school anymore.  I remember when I was in high school and the angst and never-ending awkwardness I felt, but I didn't even have a home computer, let alone Internet, and Facebook hadn't even been invented yet.  So to say I understand today's victims or even bullies would be false.  I also knew, even then, high school was bullshit.  People were stupid, and most of the drama didn't matter.  I had outgrown high school before I even got there, so again, I can't really relate to what today's kids are going through.  I do know maliciousness, in any form, is awful, hurtful and scarring, but I don't understand why so many victims of bullying are turning their anger inward and hurting themselves more with drugs, cutting or suicide.  It sounds harsh, but to the victims I want to say, "Stop making yourself a victim!" 'Block,' or 'de-friend' those who hurt you, stand up to the ones who offend you, fight for yourself, respect yourself enough to not need validation through the opinion of someone else. If someone has a problem with you, fuck 'em!

I am generally a peaceful person, however in this case I feel like society is coddling not strengthening kids.  We are teaching kids to endure, but not change.  Sweet little commercials with celebrities tenderly saying 'bullying is wrong' will not change a bully.  I think first we should be teaching community again, we are so selfish and divided these days, there is nothing to bring kids together.  Secondly I think we've lost a bit of old fashioned values.  Kids just don't respect anyone anymore. ( Just typing that makes me feel old). 13 year old girls use names like 'bitch,' 'whore' and 'slut' as terms of endearment for their closest friends; they don't even know what it means to respect themselves enough to see the flaws in that! If this is how they not only expect to treat those they care about (and expect to be treated in return) then God knows what they're capable of saying or doing when they actually want to hurt someone.  If you even want to win a war, send in teenage girls.

As I said, generally I am a peaceful person. There is something to say for teaching kids to be passive and let go of those who speak against them, there is strength in this, Martin Luther King Jr. was notorious for this.  People your whole life will hate you and speak ill towards you, cut these people out of your life as much as possible and otherwise let it go, find your validation in those who love you, not those who despise you.  And if you are confronted in a way in which you cannot back down, for God's sake stand up for yourself!
Again, I know bullying has escalated to a new and terrifying level, and I don't fully understand it.  I just believe you will remain oppressed and a victim as long as you allow yourself to be.  It's cliche but 'no one can offend you without your consent.'

I love the way you lie...

I’m so excited to be getting into the sexism found in music! I’ve never really thought about it too much so it will be a great avenue to explore. Watching the ‘Love the Way You Lie’ video and hearing everyone’s thoughts on it opened a lot a doors I don’t think I would have thought of on my own. For instance the archetypes of Rhianna and Eminem presented in the video: Rhianna is hooded and dressed in black standing in front of a burning house, while Eminem is presented in a much light fashion; on a field surrounded by light and dressed in white—exalting him as the hero in this song about violence and destructive relationships.

It’s entirely possible this whole song is meant to be call of awareness more than a promotion of violence. Eminem who has spoken openly in his music about abusing loved ones and Rhianna who made numerous headlines with her relationship with Chris Brown and the violence involved in that (of which I hear they are back together again), it would seem like a great idea to promote a song that sheds light on the violent pattern of destructive relationships and the need to rid oneself from them. I do think Rhianna sings her part with a bit of sarcasm; with lines such as ‘like the way it hurts,’ and ‘love the way you lie,’ I think are meant to be a bit sardonic, although in the video that message gets lost. Because what we see is a young, passionate couple and the romanticized toxicity of their relationship and the unfortunate cycle that comes with it. I’d say it’s commonly known that relationships of abuse are notorious for their magnetism; the victim may know they need to get out of the relationship, the abuser may know they have a problem, but both parties tend to default back to each other and their destructive ways. It’s unfortunate messages like this are being set for young generations. More and more I feel like women are taught to not respect themselves and to endure the abuses of the men who ‘love’ them. While men are not taught what it means to respect women and deal with feelings lest it make them at all un-manly.

Presentations

I really enjoyed the Thursday night presentations, it was great to see the variety in which people chose their studies. The Jet Magazine presentations were really neat to see since I have never been familiar with that magazine. The study of the earlier issues showing mostly Blacks with ‘white’ features was an honest look at how deeply media pushes for ideal images were, and still are.

 

Aggression and violence in the media is not something we’ve gone over much but I liked the study of it in regards to Sin City, and as truly offense as that movie can be, I agreed with Eleanor when she said sometimes you just have to “enjoy it for what it is.” Having a good understanding of media literacy is an important point in such a case as that since it there are many blockbuster movies that misrepresent a number of groups and lifestyles.

 

The study of the sexy Halloween costumes was great, and funny, because to my own shame, I’ve worn one of those types of costumes before. But once and only once! After the fact one does wonder, ‘what the hell was I thinking?’ It’s an important point though, the idea of women’s sexuality and the dichotomy of how it can be encouraged as a tool for our own power and gain, but also its ability to demean and objectify.

Again, lot’s of great presentations and strong arguments. It’s unreal to see how deeply the vein of media pushes and prejudices run.