Last nights documentary was really entertaining- it's nice to see a more positive side of oppression once in a while.
I love the film industry and especially the classics, I never realized how candid films of the 20's & 30's were. And though censorship later sought to dull and smother material deemed offensive and unwholesome, it's fascinating how the movie industry worked around those obstacles.
In a lot of ways these subtle messages enriched the films. As one commentator said, "it was a movie within a movie.... and in a lot of ways gave minorities hope." I found that so inspiring, and so thrilling; how so many could create movies with a sociably acceptable guise while carrying strong undertones of sexuality, race and otherwise.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
The Things You Own End Up Owning You
When I think of social class I think of "The Howls' vs The Bundy's"-- two very defined lifestyles articulated beyond money alone and by an entire state of mind.
It's this state of mind that really reflects a persons class I think. For there are many people who lack finances but remain dignified while there are others who are loaded but not at all refined.
However in our society, where the majority are deemed "Middle-Class," consumerism is the defining factor of class. It's not just about how much you have in your bank account, it's how much you own. The number of things you own defines ones wealth more than any other factor- and that seems to be what we're constantly working for.
The American goal is to be wealthy enough to have anything we want, and when we want. Our obsession with this is insatiable. In fact, the only thing we love more than money is watching it get spent! We are addicted to watching the rich spend their money and live these lavish albeit ridiculous lives. I've said it before, my 'hate that I love it' guilty pleasure is Keeping Up With the Kardashians (bows head in shame)---and why!? I have no idea, it's not that they flaunt price tags so much, but they do live in (what seems to be) an easy world of vanity and materials, and I hate how entertaining I find it.
Shows like ''My Super Sweet 16'', ''Real Desperate Housewives of [Wherever the Hell]" or any wedding show on TLC only further to feed that idea that our self worth comes from our tangible valuables. In essence, the days of having class and being of high-class no longer go hand in hand, but has instead been replaced with the idea that what we own defines us in the hierarchy of class; a self-given air of entitlement- whether earned, deserved or otherwise.
It's this state of mind that really reflects a persons class I think. For there are many people who lack finances but remain dignified while there are others who are loaded but not at all refined.
However in our society, where the majority are deemed "Middle-Class," consumerism is the defining factor of class. It's not just about how much you have in your bank account, it's how much you own. The number of things you own defines ones wealth more than any other factor- and that seems to be what we're constantly working for.
The American goal is to be wealthy enough to have anything we want, and when we want. Our obsession with this is insatiable. In fact, the only thing we love more than money is watching it get spent! We are addicted to watching the rich spend their money and live these lavish albeit ridiculous lives. I've said it before, my 'hate that I love it' guilty pleasure is Keeping Up With the Kardashians (bows head in shame)---and why!? I have no idea, it's not that they flaunt price tags so much, but they do live in (what seems to be) an easy world of vanity and materials, and I hate how entertaining I find it.
Shows like ''My Super Sweet 16'', ''Real Desperate Housewives of [Wherever the Hell]" or any wedding show on TLC only further to feed that idea that our self worth comes from our tangible valuables. In essence, the days of having class and being of high-class no longer go hand in hand, but has instead been replaced with the idea that what we own defines us in the hierarchy of class; a self-given air of entitlement- whether earned, deserved or otherwise.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Play Like A Girl
I found the video “Not Just a Game” very insightful. Not being a major sports follower I don’t know about a lot of the messages that are conveyed through the vein of sports, but it does make sense. Now I do come from the typical “Football is life”-type town so I am aware of the kind of molding that can have on one’s life. Where boys are validated by football, or at least by participating in sports in general. In this video it was pointed out how to ‘play like a girl’ was one of the worst insults a man could hear, and the question that arose was what does this say about women? Is this demeaning to our weaknesses?? So I asked a few men what that statement meant to them; one response was it’s not that it’s intended to be hurtful to women, but rather hurtful to men because they are in fact not women. He cited there are differences between the two and that is what this is supposed to represent. And that is true, many sports have been modified for women simply because of the physical differences, it’s not meant to be unfair, just fact. I can understand this thinking because much like a man does not want to be termed ‘a girl’ I would be insulted if I were ‘like a boy/man.’ Especially in terms of physicality; I don’t want to be told I look like a man or sound like a man… that would be insulting to me, even though I very much like the way men can look and sound, I just don’t want to mimic it. But even so- when I hear the words ‘you play like a girl,’ it doesn’t have a positive connotation to it. As a majority most girls probably aren’t all that athletic or prone to sports, and might even be uncoordinated or lacking an athletic ability that men tend to have more naturally (I know I do!) but the ones that are involved in sports can be exceptionally fierce. They are strong, driven, coordinated and certainly not the image conveyed by such a statement. Again most of the men I talked to about this did say they didn’t view this statement as being particularly insulting to women, but insulting to men simply because the typical woman is not as naturally athletic as men. I don’t like it, but it makes sense.
The Guy Code
I found last weeks class....disturbing, to say the least. Watching "The Bro Code" documentary was definitely an eye-opener, if not more. I can't say how valid it is for the men I know in my life, but it did raise some very interesting points about what society is pushing for the men of today to become.
Without re-hashing the entire video I will say I see a lot of unfortunate truths that were pointed out in the video. It does seem we are feeding a very narrow image of what a man should be, like, and expect out of life. The whole 'sex, beer, and violence' isn't a new ideal for men but it does seem to be elevating to new heights with the progression of media and advertising.
It's unfortunate because it's everyone who suffers from this ideal. Out of pride men are encouraged to act a certain way, think a certain way, believe a certain way, and I just think that ideal is so narrow it closes them off to some of the great things offered in life. If a man is encouraged to never share his feelings, then how can he come to know the strong bond that can come in a relationship. How can he know that building his wife up and supporting her, instead of tearing her down with the predictable misogynistic comments, can lead to a more unified, happier, stronger marriage. And as women, we are so desperate for these walls to be taken down yet we have come to expect them. And in some cases, re-enforce them. Because we too fall victim to the expectations. I think we are by nature more nurturing and family-oriented and this gets exploited into believing if we do not meet all the needs of our spouse or family we are somehow failures. Or if we are not sexual and submissive then again, we are somehow less desirable women.
In either case standards are being set for us by a media that cares nothing about us beyond our wallets and it's not until we are made aware of it and the flaws of this thinking than we can change these idiotic ideals.
Without re-hashing the entire video I will say I see a lot of unfortunate truths that were pointed out in the video. It does seem we are feeding a very narrow image of what a man should be, like, and expect out of life. The whole 'sex, beer, and violence' isn't a new ideal for men but it does seem to be elevating to new heights with the progression of media and advertising.
It's unfortunate because it's everyone who suffers from this ideal. Out of pride men are encouraged to act a certain way, think a certain way, believe a certain way, and I just think that ideal is so narrow it closes them off to some of the great things offered in life. If a man is encouraged to never share his feelings, then how can he come to know the strong bond that can come in a relationship. How can he know that building his wife up and supporting her, instead of tearing her down with the predictable misogynistic comments, can lead to a more unified, happier, stronger marriage. And as women, we are so desperate for these walls to be taken down yet we have come to expect them. And in some cases, re-enforce them. Because we too fall victim to the expectations. I think we are by nature more nurturing and family-oriented and this gets exploited into believing if we do not meet all the needs of our spouse or family we are somehow failures. Or if we are not sexual and submissive then again, we are somehow less desirable women.
In either case standards are being set for us by a media that cares nothing about us beyond our wallets and it's not until we are made aware of it and the flaws of this thinking than we can change these idiotic ideals.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Bully Bully
Bullying is something that has gotten a lot of attention lately. I understand that with the expansion of social media so also continues the expansion of aggression. In this case, bullying. I don't know how much bullying in school has changed but I have been led to believe the majority of the bullying that is getting attention these days in cyber. I spoke with a high school teacher who once told me how most of the attacks she sees' come through places like Facebook, Twitter, etc... and a majority of bullies are girls harassing other girls. Now frankly, I'm too far detached to understand what it's like to be in high school anymore. I remember when I was in high school and the angst and never-ending awkwardness I felt, but I didn't even have a home computer, let alone Internet, and Facebook hadn't even been invented yet. So to say I understand today's victims or even bullies would be false. I also knew, even then, high school was bullshit. People were stupid, and most of the drama didn't matter. I had outgrown high school before I even got there, so again, I can't really relate to what today's kids are going through. I do know maliciousness, in any form, is awful, hurtful and scarring, but I don't understand why so many victims of bullying are turning their anger inward and hurting themselves more with drugs, cutting or suicide. It sounds harsh, but to the victims I want to say, "Stop making yourself a victim!" 'Block,' or 'de-friend' those who hurt you, stand up to the ones who offend you, fight for yourself, respect yourself enough to not need validation through the opinion of someone else. If someone has a problem with you, fuck 'em!
I am generally a peaceful person, however in this case I feel like society is coddling not strengthening kids. We are teaching kids to endure, but not change. Sweet little commercials with celebrities tenderly saying 'bullying is wrong' will not change a bully. I think first we should be teaching community again, we are so selfish and divided these days, there is nothing to bring kids together. Secondly I think we've lost a bit of old fashioned values. Kids just don't respect anyone anymore. ( Just typing that makes me feel old). 13 year old girls use names like 'bitch,' 'whore' and 'slut' as terms of endearment for their closest friends; they don't even know what it means to respect themselves enough to see the flaws in that! If this is how they not only expect to treat those they care about (and expect to be treated in return) then God knows what they're capable of saying or doing when they actually want to hurt someone. If you even want to win a war, send in teenage girls.
As I said, generally I am a peaceful person. There is something to say for teaching kids to be passive and let go of those who speak against them, there is strength in this, Martin Luther King Jr. was notorious for this. People your whole life will hate you and speak ill towards you, cut these people out of your life as much as possible and otherwise let it go, find your validation in those who love you, not those who despise you. And if you are confronted in a way in which you cannot back down, for God's sake stand up for yourself!
Again, I know bullying has escalated to a new and terrifying level, and I don't fully understand it. I just believe you will remain oppressed and a victim as long as you allow yourself to be. It's cliche but 'no one can offend you without your consent.'
I am generally a peaceful person, however in this case I feel like society is coddling not strengthening kids. We are teaching kids to endure, but not change. Sweet little commercials with celebrities tenderly saying 'bullying is wrong' will not change a bully. I think first we should be teaching community again, we are so selfish and divided these days, there is nothing to bring kids together. Secondly I think we've lost a bit of old fashioned values. Kids just don't respect anyone anymore. ( Just typing that makes me feel old). 13 year old girls use names like 'bitch,' 'whore' and 'slut' as terms of endearment for their closest friends; they don't even know what it means to respect themselves enough to see the flaws in that! If this is how they not only expect to treat those they care about (and expect to be treated in return) then God knows what they're capable of saying or doing when they actually want to hurt someone. If you even want to win a war, send in teenage girls.
As I said, generally I am a peaceful person. There is something to say for teaching kids to be passive and let go of those who speak against them, there is strength in this, Martin Luther King Jr. was notorious for this. People your whole life will hate you and speak ill towards you, cut these people out of your life as much as possible and otherwise let it go, find your validation in those who love you, not those who despise you. And if you are confronted in a way in which you cannot back down, for God's sake stand up for yourself!
Again, I know bullying has escalated to a new and terrifying level, and I don't fully understand it. I just believe you will remain oppressed and a victim as long as you allow yourself to be. It's cliche but 'no one can offend you without your consent.'
I love the way you lie...
I’m so excited to be getting into the sexism found in music! I’ve never really thought about it too much so it will be a great avenue to explore. Watching the ‘Love the Way You Lie’ video and hearing everyone’s thoughts on it opened a lot a doors I don’t think I would have thought of on my own. For instance the archetypes of Rhianna and Eminem presented in the video: Rhianna is hooded and dressed in black standing in front of a burning house, while Eminem is presented in a much light fashion; on a field surrounded by light and dressed in white—exalting him as the hero in this song about violence and destructive relationships.
It’s entirely possible this whole song is meant to be call of awareness more than a promotion of violence. Eminem who has spoken openly in his music about abusing loved ones and Rhianna who made numerous headlines with her relationship with Chris Brown and the violence involved in that (of which I hear they are back together again), it would seem like a great idea to promote a song that sheds light on the violent pattern of destructive relationships and the need to rid oneself from them. I do think Rhianna sings her part with a bit of sarcasm; with lines such as ‘like the way it hurts,’ and ‘love the way you lie,’ I think are meant to be a bit sardonic, although in the video that message gets lost. Because what we see is a young, passionate couple and the romanticized toxicity of their relationship and the unfortunate cycle that comes with it. I’d say it’s commonly known that relationships of abuse are notorious for their magnetism; the victim may know they need to get out of the relationship, the abuser may know they have a problem, but both parties tend to default back to each other and their destructive ways. It’s unfortunate messages like this are being set for young generations. More and more I feel like women are taught to not respect themselves and to endure the abuses of the men who ‘love’ them. While men are not taught what it means to respect women and deal with feelings lest it make them at all un-manly.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Presentations
I really enjoyed the Thursday night presentations, it was great to see the variety in which people chose their studies. The Jet Magazine presentations were really neat to see since I have never been familiar with that magazine. The study of the earlier issues showing mostly Blacks with ‘white’ features was an honest look at how deeply media pushes for ideal images were, and still are.
Aggression and violence in the media is not something we’ve gone over much but I liked the study of it in regards to Sin City, and as truly offense as that movie can be, I agreed with Eleanor when she said sometimes you just have to “enjoy it for what it is.” Having a good understanding of media literacy is an important point in such a case as that since it there are many blockbuster movies that misrepresent a number of groups and lifestyles.
The study of the sexy Halloween costumes was great, and funny, because to my own shame, I’ve worn one of those types of costumes before. But once and only once! After the fact one does wonder, ‘what the hell was I thinking?’ It’s an important point though, the idea of women’s sexuality and the dichotomy of how it can be encouraged as a tool for our own power and gain, but also its ability to demean and objectify.
Again, lot’s of great presentations and strong arguments. It’s unreal to see how deeply the vein of media pushes and prejudices run.
The Lesser Sex
I was really shocked by the video we watched in class. "Killing Us Softly 4"- a presentation by Jean Kilbourne, was a huge eye opener. I wasn't shocked to see that ads for decades have been telling women to be their created version of the 'ideal woman,' but I was shocked by how subtle it's been and how much I've especially fed into it. I am not by nature 'skinny;' I have a decent waist, but hippy hips, no bust to speak of but shoulders broad enough to classify me as "hourglass"- a figure mom always said I should be thankful for. And I work extremely hard to be healthy. I used to weigh quite a bit and have lost a good amount of weight over the last 5 years, I am proud of myself but I constantly look in the mirror to evaluate my trouble areas and my plan of attack to annihilate them. It seems I always have 10 more pounds to lose. Now I'm a pretty confident person, I thank my mom for that. She has always been a good example of how a woman should respect and carry herself, and how others should respect and treat her. In my eyes she is the ideal balance of no-nonsense and empathy. This isn't to romanticize her, it's just to say a lack of confidence and respect has never been listed amongst her flaws.
Nonetheless, I watched this video and was really amazed at just how poorly women are portrayed. Not just the weight issue, that's obvious, though we (myself included) are still trying to conform to that standard, what got me was the rest of it; that women are often shown as child-like, demure, and quiet. Meant to be beautiful, but disappear. The most troubling part I found about this is this is becoming the standard for men's 'ideal woman' as well. That by seeing Alessandra Ambrosio (my husband's claimed ''other wife'') strutting around all slutty but still innocent-like, real women are becoming judged more harshly. Which is totally unfair given that every pizza commercial I've seen lately features bumbling, dumb slobs of men who should they procreate would only drive the human race into oblivion or at the very least we'd become a society reminiscent to that in the movie "Idiocracy." I refuse to accept a society where men who are "5's" demand and expect women who are "10's"- That's just bullshit. But a woman who's a "9" with the confidence of a "4" will happily settle for a man who's a "6"-- and has the confidence of a "20." That's messed up.
I also didn't realize the body positions of ads before. How women are often objectified into objects by eliminating their face or covering them up, or contorting their bodies into more demeaning poses. Whereas men are more seen looking straight into the camera, astute and strong. I usually find high fashion photos artistic and poetic; they're bold, erotic, daring.... well that's been skewed a bit. I know it's always about selling the clothes but I like to think the photographers turn it into an art form. And perhaps that is their goal, but seeing image after image of the constant demeaning of women and build-up of men, in an industry that's primarily run on femininity (the fashion industry anyways)- well it's just a bummer. Now I'm talking strictly fashion here but a lot of advertising is in the field of bringing down women for the sake of a product. It's all sickening, really.
Nonetheless, I watched this video and was really amazed at just how poorly women are portrayed. Not just the weight issue, that's obvious, though we (myself included) are still trying to conform to that standard, what got me was the rest of it; that women are often shown as child-like, demure, and quiet. Meant to be beautiful, but disappear. The most troubling part I found about this is this is becoming the standard for men's 'ideal woman' as well. That by seeing Alessandra Ambrosio (my husband's claimed ''other wife'') strutting around all slutty but still innocent-like, real women are becoming judged more harshly. Which is totally unfair given that every pizza commercial I've seen lately features bumbling, dumb slobs of men who should they procreate would only drive the human race into oblivion or at the very least we'd become a society reminiscent to that in the movie "Idiocracy." I refuse to accept a society where men who are "5's" demand and expect women who are "10's"- That's just bullshit. But a woman who's a "9" with the confidence of a "4" will happily settle for a man who's a "6"-- and has the confidence of a "20." That's messed up.
I also didn't realize the body positions of ads before. How women are often objectified into objects by eliminating their face or covering them up, or contorting their bodies into more demeaning poses. Whereas men are more seen looking straight into the camera, astute and strong. I usually find high fashion photos artistic and poetic; they're bold, erotic, daring.... well that's been skewed a bit. I know it's always about selling the clothes but I like to think the photographers turn it into an art form. And perhaps that is their goal, but seeing image after image of the constant demeaning of women and build-up of men, in an industry that's primarily run on femininity (the fashion industry anyways)- well it's just a bummer. Now I'm talking strictly fashion here but a lot of advertising is in the field of bringing down women for the sake of a product. It's all sickening, really.
The Black Press
"...but I have a voice too, and for good or evil mine is the speech that cannot be silenced." (Joseph Conrad, 'Heart of Darkness')
It egregious to know how blacks have been treated throughout American history. But this is no new fact. Watching the video over the Black Press was actually more inspiring than it was disheartening, though it was disheartening. The human spirit is a complexity of unity and division, compassion and hate.
Oppressed peoples is nothing new in history; since our dawn there are notes of hate and division amongst us, and with that, the fight to press on and equalize it. As Joseph Conrad so eloquently pointed out in his novel ‘Heart of Darkness,’ we are never too civilized to outgrow primitive nature and this, to our demise, is “the horror, the horror.” I empathize with the black community who for hundreds of years have fought, and still fight to have an equal voice. Though I have never known that kind of oppression I think to a degree we can all understand the need to be heard in our own voice and not one decided for us. Which is why I found this video to be inspiring; to see that more prevalent than our ability to hate is our ability to fight. The human spirit is not driven by the luxuries of happiness, but the drive to survive, the want to thrive is only important once we are in a place where survival is not as threatened. And while some of you may disagree with me, turn to history; the depression, the holocaust, slavery, etc… these people were not happy, and did not continue to have hope and fight to one day be happy, they did so because it was simply stronger in them to fight to live, than to submit to death. And why fight to live, especially when so oppressed??? I have no idea. But it’s inspiring to know that we do fight, we push and struggle through because it is simply ingrained in us to do so. And in so doing, we do make breakthroughs, we do help to tip the scales and equalize the balance of things.
It egregious to know how blacks have been treated throughout American history. But this is no new fact. Watching the video over the Black Press was actually more inspiring than it was disheartening, though it was disheartening. The human spirit is a complexity of unity and division, compassion and hate.
Oppressed peoples is nothing new in history; since our dawn there are notes of hate and division amongst us, and with that, the fight to press on and equalize it. As Joseph Conrad so eloquently pointed out in his novel ‘Heart of Darkness,’ we are never too civilized to outgrow primitive nature and this, to our demise, is “the horror, the horror.” I empathize with the black community who for hundreds of years have fought, and still fight to have an equal voice. Though I have never known that kind of oppression I think to a degree we can all understand the need to be heard in our own voice and not one decided for us. Which is why I found this video to be inspiring; to see that more prevalent than our ability to hate is our ability to fight. The human spirit is not driven by the luxuries of happiness, but the drive to survive, the want to thrive is only important once we are in a place where survival is not as threatened. And while some of you may disagree with me, turn to history; the depression, the holocaust, slavery, etc… these people were not happy, and did not continue to have hope and fight to one day be happy, they did so because it was simply stronger in them to fight to live, than to submit to death. And why fight to live, especially when so oppressed??? I have no idea. But it’s inspiring to know that we do fight, we push and struggle through because it is simply ingrained in us to do so. And in so doing, we do make breakthroughs, we do help to tip the scales and equalize the balance of things.
The Women
If you ask me, women are the most misrepresented group in media and entertainment. For years I have been annoyed with televisions portrayal of women versus men. And I say versus because that's what it is; a constant back and forth battle between the two: the nagging "soccer mom" and the over-grown man-child. The women, who not only must be "Mom of the Year" (first a foremost) they must also must have established careers, be thin and beautiful, a nagging wet blanket to their husband, and the only time they can take for themselves is brief moment day dream about their wonderful life while eating some shitty low-calorie snack.
And then there's the men... Only the elite of you must be beautiful. Unless posing for a cologne ad it seems the media portrays the rest of you as moronic slobs, no offense. Countless commercials and television shows feature this beautiful but bitch of a woman with this haphazard overweight man-child. And I KNOW that's how a lot of people have come to believe this is the order of things. It's as if we box ourselves into these predetermined characters and modify our behaviors accordingly. I see: 'Woman on TV cleans up constantly after ridiculously messy family' ergo: "I feel guilty if I don't pick up the mess around my house that I didn't make," thanks Bounty and Clorox. And I know that things are changing all the time and new shows are breaking through these set-up stereotypes little by little, but I still see it in my everyday. In my own life I see women who bend over backwards to take care of their families and themselves while everyone else, husbands especially, sit idly by. At my wedding shower I got countless gifts for kitchen and home, and constant advice for how to take care of my house and husband. Which is all well and good, I want to be a caring and selfless wife but these women.... the advice they gave, it felt as if they had lost themselves somewhere along the way of trying to be the perfect wife and woman. I feel our identities are being stripped from us before our eyes. As little girls domesticity and femininity are the most nurtured traits we are taught, and with not much alternative. Small plastic kitchens, easy bake ovens and baby dolls- it's what little girls want, right? To play house and mimic their own mothers, who mimicked their mothers and so on. Even with new generations and new ideas, I don't feel we've progressed much since the 1950's. It's a sad message we give girls, essentially we're saying "you can be whatever you aspire to be, but if you start getting too old and you're not married and not at least thinking about kids you should probably stop pretending with the rest of your life and make that you're focus, because that's where your real value lies." Like having a career is some cute hobby to pass the time until you start your real life as a wife and mom. I realize this type of mentality is probably more prevalent in the southern states and I can't really speak for what it may be like elsewhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman, I love being a wife. I find my femininity is my strength, it is my identity, just not in the image that's been and still continues to be set before us. I am a whole person, with many facets. I am not just a wife first and when I have children I won't be just a mom, I am still a whole person who will embody all these identities and more.... and now I've got one that Alanis Morissette song in my head.
But instead let's end with one of my favorite Maya Angelou poems:
And then there's the men... Only the elite of you must be beautiful. Unless posing for a cologne ad it seems the media portrays the rest of you as moronic slobs, no offense. Countless commercials and television shows feature this beautiful but bitch of a woman with this haphazard overweight man-child. And I KNOW that's how a lot of people have come to believe this is the order of things. It's as if we box ourselves into these predetermined characters and modify our behaviors accordingly. I see: 'Woman on TV cleans up constantly after ridiculously messy family' ergo: "I feel guilty if I don't pick up the mess around my house that I didn't make," thanks Bounty and Clorox. And I know that things are changing all the time and new shows are breaking through these set-up stereotypes little by little, but I still see it in my everyday. In my own life I see women who bend over backwards to take care of their families and themselves while everyone else, husbands especially, sit idly by. At my wedding shower I got countless gifts for kitchen and home, and constant advice for how to take care of my house and husband. Which is all well and good, I want to be a caring and selfless wife but these women.... the advice they gave, it felt as if they had lost themselves somewhere along the way of trying to be the perfect wife and woman. I feel our identities are being stripped from us before our eyes. As little girls domesticity and femininity are the most nurtured traits we are taught, and with not much alternative. Small plastic kitchens, easy bake ovens and baby dolls- it's what little girls want, right? To play house and mimic their own mothers, who mimicked their mothers and so on. Even with new generations and new ideas, I don't feel we've progressed much since the 1950's. It's a sad message we give girls, essentially we're saying "you can be whatever you aspire to be, but if you start getting too old and you're not married and not at least thinking about kids you should probably stop pretending with the rest of your life and make that you're focus, because that's where your real value lies." Like having a career is some cute hobby to pass the time until you start your real life as a wife and mom. I realize this type of mentality is probably more prevalent in the southern states and I can't really speak for what it may be like elsewhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman, I love being a wife. I find my femininity is my strength, it is my identity, just not in the image that's been and still continues to be set before us. I am a whole person, with many facets. I am not just a wife first and when I have children I won't be just a mom, I am still a whole person who will embody all these identities and more.... and now I've got one that Alanis Morissette song in my head.
But instead let's end with one of my favorite Maya Angelou poems:
Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Maya Angelou
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Jerk
"I was born... a poor black child....." (from Steve Martin's, 'The Jerk')
Sometimes I hate being white.... Not because I hate my skin color or anything dramatic, I just feel in so being white, my opinions are less valid. At least to other races. I never thought much about color growing up; the first boy I crushed on was Hispanic, my best friend was a black girl named Tiffany. I remember once asking my mom if I could have lots of small braids in my hair like some of the girls at school.... but white girls don't have hair fit for stuff like that. Then just before middle-school I moved to a small Texas town that really is the epitome of the Texas stereotype, and I did not fit in. It wasn't until college I had more than one black person in my class. I'm embarrassed to say, I felt like I forgot how to be around 'them.' I made friends with this one girl, she was great but I could not figure out why every time we talked I felt the need to mention Usher, or Beyonce or anything 'black' I could think of...I'm so embarrassed of myself for that. It's so silly now when I think about it; but when one isn't submerged in diversity then the only avenue of receiving it is through media. And media is fractured, because it's run by people and a lot of times, ignorance.
It’s easy to be quick to disapprove of the media’s images of race in both today and times past, and rightfully so. However I don’t think the images we have grown to know as stereotypes or offensive displays of peoples were meant to be malicious. At least not always. Again, I blame ignorance; the stereotypes we're fed we continue to feed unless we become cognizant of it and change our minds of it.
In many cases, absolutely there is some maliciousness; it’s in human nature to categorize and hierarchy ourselves amongst others. We would do this even without media assistance. We would always find something to separate us from the others; as Dr. Seuss so poignantly showed us with his Star-Bellied Sneetches. We already divide ourselves by hair color alone; blond hair versus brunettes, or red heads—and the characteristics as to why each sub-division believes themselves superior. So it’s no surprise when we naturally see this happening in our media.
I do think in most recent decades there have been great attempts to level the playing field and simply reflect a culture with honest intentions rather than demean it. But in so doing we don’t just reflect but create still and absolute. We get a small window of another culture and create in our minds the whole picture, which in turn may be false. But how do you battle this? Again it's human to associate and categorize everything in our minds. People think Texas and they think cowboy hats and over-sized egos, hair and everything else. This is just the personality of the state, deserved or otherwise. Personally I don't fit in this stereotype, and I know many others who don't as well...but I know too many more that do. I hate to say it, because I believe we should always be righting wrongs against each other. I think every voice does deserve to be heard, but this is a battle I don't think will ever be won. Even in the most sincerest attempts of simply reflecting a culture runs the risk of developing a new schema for ourselves.
Truthfully, I think the ones in media who have it best at just reflecting a culture are the people on food travel shows, like Anthony Bourdain. Where their goal is to show things as they are, with an emphasis on food of course.. But I can't honestly say they have it right either because I haven't been to any of those countries! And from our end it looks honest but someone in Vietnam may watch and think, 'that's not right at all!' Because that which we don't know to be false doesn't offend us like that which we do.
The sad truth is we can only make ourselves aware of our ignorance and do our best to see through the facades laid before us.
Sometimes I hate being white.... Not because I hate my skin color or anything dramatic, I just feel in so being white, my opinions are less valid. At least to other races. I never thought much about color growing up; the first boy I crushed on was Hispanic, my best friend was a black girl named Tiffany. I remember once asking my mom if I could have lots of small braids in my hair like some of the girls at school.... but white girls don't have hair fit for stuff like that. Then just before middle-school I moved to a small Texas town that really is the epitome of the Texas stereotype, and I did not fit in. It wasn't until college I had more than one black person in my class. I'm embarrassed to say, I felt like I forgot how to be around 'them.' I made friends with this one girl, she was great but I could not figure out why every time we talked I felt the need to mention Usher, or Beyonce or anything 'black' I could think of...I'm so embarrassed of myself for that. It's so silly now when I think about it; but when one isn't submerged in diversity then the only avenue of receiving it is through media. And media is fractured, because it's run by people and a lot of times, ignorance.
It’s easy to be quick to disapprove of the media’s images of race in both today and times past, and rightfully so. However I don’t think the images we have grown to know as stereotypes or offensive displays of peoples were meant to be malicious. At least not always. Again, I blame ignorance; the stereotypes we're fed we continue to feed unless we become cognizant of it and change our minds of it.
In many cases, absolutely there is some maliciousness; it’s in human nature to categorize and hierarchy ourselves amongst others. We would do this even without media assistance. We would always find something to separate us from the others; as Dr. Seuss so poignantly showed us with his Star-Bellied Sneetches. We already divide ourselves by hair color alone; blond hair versus brunettes, or red heads—and the characteristics as to why each sub-division believes themselves superior. So it’s no surprise when we naturally see this happening in our media.
I do think in most recent decades there have been great attempts to level the playing field and simply reflect a culture with honest intentions rather than demean it. But in so doing we don’t just reflect but create still and absolute. We get a small window of another culture and create in our minds the whole picture, which in turn may be false. But how do you battle this? Again it's human to associate and categorize everything in our minds. People think Texas and they think cowboy hats and over-sized egos, hair and everything else. This is just the personality of the state, deserved or otherwise. Personally I don't fit in this stereotype, and I know many others who don't as well...but I know too many more that do. I hate to say it, because I believe we should always be righting wrongs against each other. I think every voice does deserve to be heard, but this is a battle I don't think will ever be won. Even in the most sincerest attempts of simply reflecting a culture runs the risk of developing a new schema for ourselves.
Truthfully, I think the ones in media who have it best at just reflecting a culture are the people on food travel shows, like Anthony Bourdain. Where their goal is to show things as they are, with an emphasis on food of course.. But I can't honestly say they have it right either because I haven't been to any of those countries! And from our end it looks honest but someone in Vietnam may watch and think, 'that's not right at all!' Because that which we don't know to be false doesn't offend us like that which we do.
The sad truth is we can only make ourselves aware of our ignorance and do our best to see through the facades laid before us.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Pilot Episode: An Introduction
For this first blog I think I'll start by introducing a bit about myself...
I'm Katherine Couch and this blog was created for the sake, and purely the sake of a journalism class... I'm not really one to divulge so much about my own opinions into the cyber world, I don't think it would be polite of me to do so. But since I must, I will try to at least share thoughts of merit and value.
I'll start by saying a I'm a white, "middle-class" girl from the blanketed Republican of Texas. I have no qualms about that per se, but I have spent my entire life scratching at the walls to find what is behind them. It's not that I am not proud to be Texan, or white, or even middle-class, but where I come from, pride is all anyone has to show for that. And even then its a fragile thing. I remember during the Bush/Kerry election I was a senior in High School and EVERYBODY was pro Bush and believed Kerry was a Nazi. ..... I didn't know where I stood. I asked everyone, why George?? The answers were always lacking. Basically their parents told them so and in turn they believed so. I just wanted to understand. Since then my efforts to understand any politics has hardly progressed. Not for lack of trying either, it's just nobody seems to know what the hell's going on,or at least how to explain it simply. Just yesterday I got in a debate with my husband about Obama's gun laws... and again, I just seek enlightenment...I don't know enough yet to have forthright opinion on government, I have notions, some understands and things that make sense to me, but government, for all the ages, has been stronger in theory than actuality.
Nevertheless, culture is my real point here. I starve for culture. "Well why not just move out of the country or something?"-- Because I'm neither rich nor homeless, which I find is favorable for such spontaneity. I do have plans to move one day but that includes a whole domino list of "to-do's" first to get me there (i.e. this journalism class). And what's the rush in moving, I'm an adult, I live in the metroplex of Texas that is writhing with culture, right?? And with such luxuries as Internet and TV the world comes to me! Just the other day I visited such places as Scotland, Paris and ventured the western coast all from my comfy computer chair as Google Earth whisked me away across the globe in a fashion only Calgon could admire.
So then why are all my closest friends, white, middle-class people?
After this class I noticed something, all my favorite shows are filled with mostly white, middle-class(ish) people. I notice when they change it up with the token minority. I'm disheartened that the media feeds to the masses exactly what they already are. I understand it, but I don't like it. I have no known hatred or prejudice against other races or social classes, I interact with a diverse group of people everyday, and adore it, but in my inner-circle of life and friends, I'm exactly what they wanted me to be, and with who they want me to be with. I don't mean that to say there's some huge conspiracy going on in mass media, there may be but I'm not here to say it. I just mean, I am a part of the largest demographic, and find through such things as TV and Internet, I'm only encouraged to stay in that demographic and with others that share it with me. Aldous Huxley is pointing a big 'I told you so' finger in our faces right now.
However in spite of this realization, I think the world is changing. I think there are more inter-racial relationships than ever before. Honestly it won't surprise me if in a hundred years we've all melded and bred ourselves into one coffee-colored race. But culture will still exists. And that's what we really get misfed here. We learn stereotypes, and how to feel about those stereotypes, even if it's not how we feel at all. I don't know why I would ever make a joke to my Asian friends about knowing Kung-Fu...cause if they do I certainly don't want to be the one pissing them off. Those are probably the people you want on your side. But I digress.... culture is really the thing I really lament here. Having roots. America is so wonderfully diverse, but when we really look at the media and how they are delivering messages to us, so many things are getting lost in the translation.
I'm Katherine Couch and this blog was created for the sake, and purely the sake of a journalism class... I'm not really one to divulge so much about my own opinions into the cyber world, I don't think it would be polite of me to do so. But since I must, I will try to at least share thoughts of merit and value.
I'll start by saying a I'm a white, "middle-class" girl from the blanketed Republican of Texas. I have no qualms about that per se, but I have spent my entire life scratching at the walls to find what is behind them. It's not that I am not proud to be Texan, or white, or even middle-class, but where I come from, pride is all anyone has to show for that. And even then its a fragile thing. I remember during the Bush/Kerry election I was a senior in High School and EVERYBODY was pro Bush and believed Kerry was a Nazi. ..... I didn't know where I stood. I asked everyone, why George?? The answers were always lacking. Basically their parents told them so and in turn they believed so. I just wanted to understand. Since then my efforts to understand any politics has hardly progressed. Not for lack of trying either, it's just nobody seems to know what the hell's going on,or at least how to explain it simply. Just yesterday I got in a debate with my husband about Obama's gun laws... and again, I just seek enlightenment...I don't know enough yet to have forthright opinion on government, I have notions, some understands and things that make sense to me, but government, for all the ages, has been stronger in theory than actuality.
Nevertheless, culture is my real point here. I starve for culture. "Well why not just move out of the country or something?"-- Because I'm neither rich nor homeless, which I find is favorable for such spontaneity. I do have plans to move one day but that includes a whole domino list of "to-do's" first to get me there (i.e. this journalism class). And what's the rush in moving, I'm an adult, I live in the metroplex of Texas that is writhing with culture, right?? And with such luxuries as Internet and TV the world comes to me! Just the other day I visited such places as Scotland, Paris and ventured the western coast all from my comfy computer chair as Google Earth whisked me away across the globe in a fashion only Calgon could admire.
So then why are all my closest friends, white, middle-class people?
After this class I noticed something, all my favorite shows are filled with mostly white, middle-class(ish) people. I notice when they change it up with the token minority. I'm disheartened that the media feeds to the masses exactly what they already are. I understand it, but I don't like it. I have no known hatred or prejudice against other races or social classes, I interact with a diverse group of people everyday, and adore it, but in my inner-circle of life and friends, I'm exactly what they wanted me to be, and with who they want me to be with. I don't mean that to say there's some huge conspiracy going on in mass media, there may be but I'm not here to say it. I just mean, I am a part of the largest demographic, and find through such things as TV and Internet, I'm only encouraged to stay in that demographic and with others that share it with me. Aldous Huxley is pointing a big 'I told you so' finger in our faces right now.
However in spite of this realization, I think the world is changing. I think there are more inter-racial relationships than ever before. Honestly it won't surprise me if in a hundred years we've all melded and bred ourselves into one coffee-colored race. But culture will still exists. And that's what we really get misfed here. We learn stereotypes, and how to feel about those stereotypes, even if it's not how we feel at all. I don't know why I would ever make a joke to my Asian friends about knowing Kung-Fu...cause if they do I certainly don't want to be the one pissing them off. Those are probably the people you want on your side. But I digress.... culture is really the thing I really lament here. Having roots. America is so wonderfully diverse, but when we really look at the media and how they are delivering messages to us, so many things are getting lost in the translation.
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